


did you hear what i said?

by thethrashparticle



Category: Falsettos - Lapine/Finn
Genre: M/M, falsettos makes me really sad, not anytime soon but like . one day, one day i’ll write smth not sad, this takes place like in between something bad is happening and you gotta die sometime
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2020-10-06 02:34:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20499449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thethrashparticle/pseuds/thethrashparticle
Summary: Whizzer wasn’t going to get better. Marvin didn’t know why he kept saying it. It might have been because it’s what he had to keep telling Jason. It might have been because he didn’t want to lose Whizzer again. Or maybe it’s because it meant that Marvin wasn’t going to get better either.





	did you hear what i said?

Marvin had spent the last two nights in Whizzer’s room. They were currently in the middle of the third. Marvin was curled into his lovers side, Whizzer awake with something eating at his stomach. 

Whizzer was dying. That fact was as true as any. He was dying at an alarming rate. No one knew when he would pass away, they just knew that he would. There was no stopping it. 

That was the reason Marvin hardly left. He didn’t want Whizzer to be alone, and he also didn’t want to be left alone. He didn’t want to stop hearing Whizzer laugh or talk, or even cough. Hell, just hearing Whizzer breathe was enough to calm him down. Because if he made it through today, who says he couldn’t make it through tomorrow?

Whizzer didn’t want to die alone. He was so Gd damn afraid all the time. He didn’t know when it would happen, when he’d go to sleep and never wake up. It scared the shit out of him. And he couldn’t die in front of Marvin, he just couldn’t. So if he stayed around, maybe Whizzer would never die, just out of sheer will. I mean, if medicine didn’t work, why not this?

He knew this was selfish. He could see the bags forming under his lover’s eyes. And Whizzer was starting to feel so exhausted it ached. Maybe he could let Marvin go, just for one night. 

“Marvin.”

After a few tries, Marvin woke up. “Hm?” He replied, before sitting up. “What’s up? Are you alright?” 

“I...” Whizzer started. He took a deep breath and grabbed Marvin’s hands. He didn’t look up when he spoke. “Marvin, I need you to go home.” 

Marvin blinked once or twice before responding. “What?”

“You need to go home, Marvin.” 

Marvin scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Who said that, Charlotte?”

“No, I’m saying it.” He squeezed Marvin’s hands. “You have to go home and rest. You’re exhausted.” 

“No, I’m not-“ Marvin started to argue. 

“Marvin, when was the last time you saw Jason?” Whizzer asked. 

Marvin scowled and looked away. “That’s not fair.” 

Whizzer almost laughed. “I’m just saying, you apologize to him for leaving, and now you’re here. How do you think he feels?”

With a deep breath, Marvin pulled his hands from Whizzer’s and rubbed them over his face. “He knows I’m just here until...”

“Until what?” Whizzer asked, mouth corner turning up. 

“Until you get better.” Marvin didn’t even convince himself when he said it. Whizzer laughed. Their hands found each other again. 

It was quiet for a bit. The hand holding turned into Marvin holding Whizzer, then Whizzer holding Marvin. Eventually they were both clutching each other, Whizzer around Marvin’s waist and Marvin hugging his shoulders. 

Whizzer wasn’t going to get better. Marvin didn’t know why he kept saying it. It might have been because it’s what he had to keep telling Jason. It might have been because he didn’t want to lose Whizzer again. Or maybe it’s because it meant that Marvin wasn’t going to get better either. 

Charlotte had told Marvin about how the virus spreads almost a week ago. Marvin got tested immediately, of course. He knew what the answer would be, but he went anyway.

When the nurse told him he was positive, all he did was nod. When she asked if he was alright, he nodded again. And so the grown man, a father, a man in a suit and tie, went into the hall and watched a young man sob into another’s chest. The lover gave Marvin a look as he walked past. There isn’t even a word to put to the glance they shared. It was desperate, it was frightened, it was a question, all at the same time. Are you sick, too?

The emotions hit Marvin once he walked into his apartment. He started to cry when he took off his shoes at the door. It turned into ugly weeping once he passed Jason’s bedroom. Marvin ended up sleeping in his son’s bed that night. He couldn’t quite make it to his own, and he didn’t want to make himself sleep on the couch. He was dying. Dying people don’t deserve to sleep on couches. 

When Marvin woke up he had a thought, just for a second, that he was still a kid. Just for a second, even though these posters were not from his childhood, and this bed was not his own. Maybe he wasn’t Marvin at all. He could have been someone else entirely, and he just had a very, very weird dream. 

But that was only for a second. Until he remembered that he is just Marvin, and he has work to go to. Even if he was dying. 

This all happened 3 days ago. Then he started sleeping in the hospital with Whizzer. Maybe Marvin wouldn’t even bother checking in. Maybe he’d get this bed after Whizzer was done with it. 

That made him laugh out loud. Whizzer squeezed Marvin around his gut. “What are you laughin’ at?” He said with a fake-angry tone. 

Marvin had a smile on his face and sighed when he set his head on Whizzer’s. “I’m laughing at how sad this is.” 

“Hey,” Whizzer stated, sitting up to look Marvin in the eye. “You don’t have to stay here and be sad with me.” Marvin twisted his lips. “Marv, I mean it. You can walk out of here and live your life. I‘ll forgive you for that.”

Marvin shook his head. “Whizzer, I-“

“No, I don’t want one of your speeches. I know you love me, but you’ve got a life to live. You can-“

“Whizzer.”

Whizzer let out a frustrated sigh through his nose. “What, Marvin?” 

Now that the moment had come, Marvin couldn’t get the words out. He just looked at Whizzer with sad, open eyes. The corner of his mouth twitched up for a second. He watched Whizzer’s face fall. Marvin had never seen him look so sad. 

It was Whizzer’s turn to look away. He let out a soft, “Oh,” and gripped his gown. “When- when did you find out?” 

“A few days ago,” said Marvin. They both faced forward, eyes cast down. Then Whizzer began to cry. Marvin began to cry too. And then, after a minute, Whizzer began to laugh. 

“Gd dammit,” He cackled, dragging his hands over his eyes. “This is so fucking sad.” Marvin looked at him, and laughed along. 

“I told you,” he giggled. They laughed for a few minutes, all while crying. Once they calmed down, they dried their faces off and took a deep breath. 

Whizzer sighed again. He sniffed and wiped his eyes one more time. “Have you told anyone else?”

Marvin breathed deep. “Nope. Just you.” Whizzer nodded. 

“You still need to go home,” said Whizzer. Marvin scoffed. “I mean it.” 

They made eye contact. Marvin eventually gave in. “Alright, fine.” Whizzer smiled. Marvin gave him a half of one. His hand found Whizzer’s again. “I’m gonna miss you.” 

That made Whizzer sad all over again. They just couldn’t avoid it, could they? He squeezed Marvin’s hand. “I know.”

“Can I still sleep here tonight?” Marvin asked. 

Whizzer couldn’t help but smile. “You might as well.”

The two resumed the way they had started the night; Marvin curled into Whizzer’s side and Whizzer on his back. Only this time Whizzer could actually get to sleep. 

“I love you, Marvin.”

“I love you, too.”


End file.
